And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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