we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
