Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
