My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
