Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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