There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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