Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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