Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
