dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
