i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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