Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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