Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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