I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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