Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
