The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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