I looked at my own cervix.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
