Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
