The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
