Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
