I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
