You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
