Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
