Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
