omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
