Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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