So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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