you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
