Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
