My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
