my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
