I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
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