What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
