hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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