apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
