i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
