it hurts more in the daytime
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
