john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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