Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
