I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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