her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
