please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
