Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
