if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
