i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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