U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
