Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
