Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
