I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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