Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
