I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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