wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
